FINDING JOY WHEN TIMES ARE DIFFICULT

FINDING JOY WHEN TIMES ARE DIFFICULT

I will love the light for it shows me the way,

yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”

Light and Joy:  My words to live by lately.  How does one experience joy when the world seems to be falling apart; when shootings and bombings are happening way too often; when deadly storms, floods, fires, ravage our land; when illness and death arrive up close and personal.  

Lying in my hospital bed tethered to tubes and  IVs, I listened to the beeps, pulsing of machines, quiet rustling of nurses and techs.  Steadily improving now, I had plenty of time to think about what had happened and about work I had left undone at home—one thing being this editorial for our church newsletter.  I had the topic—“Joy in Hard Times”—but little else.  

I thought about Joy vs Happiness:  Joy is not the same thing as happiness.  Happiness is temporary.  A friend invites you to lunch and a movie.  You’re happy and looking forward to the day until she tells you she has also invited someone who you’re not fond of.  The happiness dissipates quickly and jealousy may even sweep in to take its place. 

Joy sticks around despite the circumstances. 

            I remembered moments of fear, hushed voices”.  “Oh God…” was all I could pray.  A blanket of peace covered me as I let go and settled into a safe, calm place, feeling loved and cared for. 

I smiled as I thought of myself as a laboratory experiment for the topic.  I thought

about the laughs I’d shared with doctors, nurses, techs, my kids—The surprise and joy that settled deep when a nurse brought me calming lavender-scented cotton balls, then proceeded to massage my feet with lavender lotion.  Healing aromatherapy in the hospital.  The joy I felt when my grandsons, after loading Pandora on my reading tablet, discovered and downloaded “Calming Meditations”, which played through the sleepless night.  I thought about the joy I felt deep inside me despite the circumstances, and remembered a quote that comes to  my attention occasionally...”it isn’t what happens to you that matters, but how you respond to what happens.”

SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE:  “The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them. 

 I’ve been engaging in a regular spiritual practice for several years now.  It includes shifting of perspective from how I want life and others to behave to what I have to do to achieve the life I long for.  Instead of wanting others to change, I practice looking for changes I can make to achieve loving, joy-filled relationships and experiences.  In the hospital, I wanted health and freedom from anxiety and pain.  I shifted my perspective from focusing on fear, an unpleasant nurse or questioning whether the doctors made a mistake (as an acquaintance was suggesting) to a focus on the healing angels that surrounded me.  Adrian, Adam, and Marquis came to mind.  They and many others nursed me, cleaned me, soothed me, and made me laugh.  When I lost every speck of my modesty, they saved my dignity by their gentle touch, humor, and quiet words.  Other nurses and techs, even housekeepers gave me smiles and encouraging words to live by.  Nurse Adam was an encyclopedia of little known facts that brought chuckles to us all.

Doctors knelt by my bed, took my hand and looked into my eyes as they talked to me about next steps to healing and answered my many questions.  I noticed and gave silent thanks for the little things like the soothing ice chips, the first sip of water in days, and my first real meal—scrambled eggs.  Joy was the card my friend sent saying, in part, “Heal, kneel, wear teal,” which was followed just moments later by the nurse who helped me take my first shower and brought me—not dingy gray—but teal slipper socks.   She had not seen the card.  A joyful coincidence that made me laugh out loud   Friends and family listened when I needed to talk, sat silently when I needed quiet, and laughed with me. 

EXPERIENCING JOY IS A CHOICE AND TAKES PRACTICE:  There was plenty to make me anxious and scared.  I was thankful for my practice of seeking and finding joy, rather than focusing on the negatives.  Instead of focusing on mistakes made, I gave thanks that corrections were made quickly.  I used my music to block the ranting cries of the man across the hall, then prayed for us both and for our families, and the staff.  Instead of focusing on what disaster might still happen, I gave thanks for life-saving blood and the donors who gave it; then created stories about whose blood was running around inside me.  My favorite being the playful old woman who convinced me to dye my hair purple and pink.  So unlike me, but I smile when I look at myself in the mirror.joy I felt deep inside.  My family blessed me with their 24/7 presence, bringing with them serious, thoughtful moments as well as humor and smiles.  Others who visited also brought a quiet joy and healing energy with them. God does work in mysterious ways, I thought; and smiled. 

CHOOSE JOY THAT LASTS: 

The best thing about joy when compared to happiness is that joy doesn’t leave us.  It may sometimes seem to disappear, but Joy is a gift of the Spirit and lives within us.  Jesus promised, “I have told you (this) so that my Joy may be in you and that your Joy may be complete.”  We all know that hard times will come.  That is a part of life.  But God-given Joy is available to us all, if we seek and practice it.  It is the Joy that lasts forever. 

            Today a priest friend of mine sent his weekly e-mail poem and message.  The poem, by Dom Helder Camera, a priest who fought hard and gave his life for justice, is the perfect ending which is really a new beginning to this journey called Life. 

"It is possible to travel alone, but we know the journey is human life
and life needs company.
Companion is the one who eats the same bread.

The good traveler cares for weary companions, grieves when we lose heart,
takes us where she finds us, listens to us.
Intelligently, gently, above all lovingly, we encourage each other to go on
and recover our joy on the journey.”

May you find your Joy.